Thursday, May 31, 2012

Practice for November… VOTE in Our Poll

MANY VISIT the Bare Platypus site without noticing that we’re conducting a poll of your favorite place(s) to be naked.  As you’ll see immediately to your right, there are four possible choices: (1) At Home and With Family; (2) A Nude Beach; (3) A Nudist Club; or (4) In Nature / Out on Trails. 

-----------------------------------------------------------à
If none of those places describes your favorite, no worries! Feel free to type in “the moon,” “rock concert,” or whatever in the comments below.

Since we posted the question, nearly 300 people have cast a ballot. But a wise sage with lots of expertise in statistics once told us that an optimum sample size is 1000.  We’d like to have at least 500 votes before we attempt to draw meaningful lessons from what you tell us. 
Who knows? We may be able to prompt a nudist association or NASA with these findings.  At least it will make interesting conversation.
Thanks!

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Greetings to Platypuses from Many Lands

WE DEEPLY appreciate the warm welcome that the Bare Platypus has received from the naturist community since our blog launch.  We’re also delighted to see visitors from so many countries so far, including…

  • United Kingdom
  • United States of America
  • Canada
  • Australia
  • Germany
  • Russia
  • The Netherlands
  • Brazil
  • France
  • India
  • Sweden
  • Finland
  • Italy
  • Switzerland
  • Ireland
  • Turkey
  • Malaysia
  • Mexico
  • Spain
  • Georgia
  • Pakistan
  • Panama
  • South Africa
  • Indonesia
  • Costa Rica
  • Portugal
  • Poland
  • Slovenia
  • Morocco
  • Egypt
  • Peru
  • Belgium
  • The Philippines
  • Israel
  • Lithuania
  • Ecuador
  • Czech Republic
  • Slovakia
  • Norway
  • Croatia
  • Ukraine
  • Netherlands Antilles
  • South Korea
  • Bangladesh
  • Hungary
  • Estonia
  • Colombia
  • Puerto Rico
  • Luxembourg
  • Saudi Arabia
  • Bolivia
  • Thailand
  • Serbia
  • Uruguay
  • Greece
  • Algeria
  • Chile
  • Iceland
  • Lebanon
  • Jordan
  • Taiwan
  • Venezuela
  • Tunisia
  • Cyprus
  • Argentina
  • United Arab Emirates
  • Syria
  • Belarus
  • Romania
  • Nepal
  • Qatar
  • Bosnia and Herzegovinia
  • Vietnam
  • Denmark
  • Jamaica
  • Hong Kong
  • Latvia
  • Isle of Man
  • Bulgaria
  • Singapore
  • China
  • Kazakhstan
  • Kuwait
  • Bahrain
  • Cambodia
  • Cameroon

    Bahamas

    Guernsey

    Honduras

    Burkina Faso

    Cayman Islands

    Austria

  • Czechia

  • Liberia
  • New Zealand*

The great thing about nudism is that you can always wear the “uniform” just by taking off your clothes.  What’s more, there is an organization representing just about every country on this list.  They’re all part of a “United Nations” under a nude umbrella known as the International Naturist Federation.

Wherever you travel throughout the world, you’re likely to find nude beaches and resorts that will make you feel right at home!



*List updated 05/18
/15

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

5/27/12 Week WALTER Award


THIS WEEK the Bare Platypus Walter award goes to actor Mark Ruffalo, who plays Dr. Bruce Banner in the blockbuster summer movie, The Avengers.  Ruffalo’s scene in which he sits “naked” amidst rubble after crashing into a building as The Incredible Hulk, then morphing back into Banner is among the more classic moments in the film.

Although we don’t see any skin “below the waist,” the matter-of-fact way in which Ruffalo deals with having no pants after shrinking from a giant creature to mere mortal again deserves some accolades for acting.  There’s a touch of sheepishness and embarrassment mixed with the confidence of a hero who probably deals with this “side effect” of his super powers often as he discusses his predicament with actor Harry Dean Stanton in the role of a helpful janitor.

We have to believe Mark Ruffalo captures the essence of an episode between President John Quincy Adams and a female reporter who snatched his clothes while he skinny-dipped in the Potomac.  She wouldn’t return them until granted an interview.  Or lads from a Saturday Evening Post cover caught playing hookey from school to skinny dip: slight chagrin at getting aprehended sans trou, without a hint of anything tawdry.

And so, Mr. Ruffalo, we are very pleased to wish you this week’s Walter Award.


The Walter is named in honor of Dr. Walter Bishop from the hit TV series, Fringe.  Dr. Bishop has a matter-of-fact attitude towards nudity.  In his name the Bare Platypus presents a "Walter" award each week to the person, group, or event that best depicts nudity naturally.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Comics Bare-o-Meter Revisited

IT’S BEEN about two months since we first discussed nudity in the funny pages of the newspaper.  From then until now we have been monitoring about twenty different comics daily at the Arca Max site. We would give the amount of naked “coverage” a fair rating, although there hasn’t been a lot of bare skin in these "strips":


  • Today a character in Johnny Hart’s BC wants to go skinny dipping and asks the lifeguard if it’s okay;
  • Marvin had nearly a week dedicated to his failed campaign for president. The campaign stumbled after a scandal erupted over pictures of the baby naked on a fur rug taken by his dad surfaced on YouTube;
  • Marvin complained about having to wear clothes while his dog Bitsy can go about NAKED ;
  • Marvin also resorted to doffing his diaper so his mom would no longer have to change it;
  • Wren of Baby Blues witnessed a naked woman on TV but expressed little reaction as bare breasts simply mean food to a baby.


Well, that’s about it. The Bare Platypus anticipates we’ll see more birthday suits as summer begins but who knows?  Many of the “old guard” illustrators have passed away or retired. Those who have replaced them seem much more reluctant to put bare bottoms on their characters.



6/5/12 Update: If you're really ready to see a comic "strip," click on over to Nude Spo's Blog for a look at an "apocryphal" scene from For Better or For Worse.  Oh that it were real. But what a cute episode all the same! 

6/9/12 Update:  Today Jeremy Duncan of Zits was asked by his girlfriend to tell her what he saw as her "bare essence," stripped to her naked identity.  No skin shown, but Jeremy couldn't concentrate on the question with all the naked talk.

1/1/13 Update: Mojo Nude has a great picture from the nude beach planet featured on Futurama.

1/1/13 Update: Marvin is depicted as a naked new year baby wearing only a sash in the 12/30/12 'strip.'  On December 16 he runs away bare bottom from mom and the diaper she's wielding.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Cottontail Season Begins!

IT’S HERE! Memorial Day Weekend… the traditional beginning of summer.  That means the traditional beginning of nudist weather and something else: “Cottontail Season.”

For the first couple of weekends, people traveling to nudist clubs and beaches---even long time nudists--- will be sporting the same tan lines as everyone else who has been wrapped up in clothes all winter and spring.  Club gates open, the clothes come off, and there are LOTS of white bare bums walking around! That is, until we’ve all picked up our golden all-over tans.

Bumper stickers may read “Happiness is NO Tan Lines” yet there’s a certain amount of joy in those first few days of a nudist summer too.  There’s the familiar drive… the anticipation driving up to the main office… stripping down and the first skinny dip.
If you happen to be on your way to a clothes-free venue, congratulations.  But even if you’re working this weekend you can still enjoy some naked time when you get home. Need to draw the drapes first? Well, that’s okay too.  You’ll get your sun and lose the cottontail eventually. It’s summer after all.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

A Minute in Nudist Sunday School

Platypus Note:  We celebrate that there are people who enjoy nudism from all walks of life, from every shape, size, country, age, and faith.  We recognize that there are some who subscribe to no faith at all and we see that rich diversity as a great thing.  At the same time, the Platypus Team has never been shy about acknowledging our personal Christian faith and heritage.  This post is primarily intended for our Christian brothers and sisters, though all are welcome…


SOMETIMES FELLOW Christians, who know us and also know that nudism is an integral part of our lives, ask how we reconcile our fondness for birthday suits with our commitment to follow scripture. 

Among the answers we provide to this sensitive question is referring believers to Hebrews 4:13, which reads,  And no creature is hidden from His sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.” [ESV]   

We like this verse because it is not one of those that is more easily taken out of context (say, like a passage from the Old Testament meant to be applied to a specific worship ceremony).  It is a general life lesson and the lesson is this: No matter what we do, God IS watching and He knows why we do it in our hearts.  For this reason, we’re less fearful that God knows that we sunbathe naked (of COURSE HE DOES), than what He knows about us deep down... and for which we’ll have to answer to Him someday.

For example, churches love to put on church suppers.  Churches praise the people who help organize and put on church suppers.  Serve as an organizer of such suppers and it’s unlikely you’ll ever receive condemnation from the congregation about it.  And yet… What if the ONLY reason we provide such organization efforts is for the praise we’ll receive?  What if it’s JUST so that we can gorge ourselves on the buffet and leftovers like complete gluttons?  What if the supper is SIMPLY a convenient forum for us to ply our trade selling life insurance products to the people who "fellowship" with us? 
Get the idea?  Knowing that God knows everything about us is FAR more humbling to the Bare Platypus than being caught in our birthday suit on a beautiful day by a beautiful lake that is His creation.  Thanks to what His son Jesus Christ has done for us, we may be legitimately humbled and cautioned but we don’t have to fear.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Nudism Online: What Will Data Rationing Do ?

AN INFORMAL survey of our team reveals that the earliest a Platypus began using the Web was about 1994.  (Some had inter-office email before, but nothing more.)  In 1994, our “oldest veteran of the Web” visited it only at work.

Soon dial-up Web access was available to most homes using a modem and standard telephone line at laughable speeds today. But the REAL kicker: Back then you paid by the hour for every hour spent online.  We vividly remember checking a box which agreed to let America Online bill our credit card $6 per hour to “Surf the Net.”  There wasn’t much incentive for internet providers to offer an all-you-could-eat data buffet, but market competition drove things onward, upward, faster, and cheaper over time.  

Still, during the transition people rationed the time they spent online and---at least mentally---prioritized which websites they were willing to visit.  Too many pictures on a site made it load intolerably slowly. Often the only reward at the end of a wait was an “Error: Server Timed Out” message. It was the Web’s way of saying, “Dummy this is taking too long. Move on to something else!”

The Platypus point with this walk down memory lane is that expensive rates and limited usage meant people used the Internet for a LOT less commerce or playfully checking things out.  Not only with the Web in its infancy, but because heavy usage would have bankrupted the average person.  Imagine pouring through an online catalog the size of an Amazon.com or BestBuy.com if EACH picture took about 30 seconds to load. For similar reasons, fully-functioning Google Earth satellite views or Map Quest interactivity would have been unthinkable. (Nudists communicated even then, though largely through text-based media such as Rec.nude on Usenet, or RixPlace, a list server some Platypus readers will remember.)

As Yogi Berra said, “It’s deja’ vu all over again.”  This week the FCC Chair went on record in support of measures by local cable companies that charge per data usage to “drive efficiencies.” Many readers already experience data caps and fees on mobile plans.  Humorous ads air in which fictional subscribers to such plans must choose between watching footage of their daughter’s school play from the road or downloading an important business app.


The Platypus won’t ponder whether such measures are justified in this post… only ask what it may mean to spreading the nudist message. Clothes Free.com  distributes Nudes in the News videos.  Will people be able to afford to download em?  How about reading the near-constant Twitter and Facebook feeds some nudists use to get everything from weather conditions at a nude beach to news about the latest map / navigation app that can help get them there? Will we store nude photos in "cloud based" albums like Flickr if we're paying per gigabyte for uploads and downloads?


It’s kinda like asking, “What would happen to travel to remote and distant nude beaches if gasoline was unbelievably cheap and plentiful, then suddenly got crimped into very short supply and skyrocketed in price?”  But, we’d have to walk further down memory lane to the gas crisis of 1974 and we’re already sounding like a Grandpa Platypus.

Monday, May 21, 2012

The Walter of the Week Goes To…

BESTOWING OUR very first Walter award is a significant event. That’s why the Bare Platypus Team put considerable thought into choosing its recipient. We wanted someone (or something) that would embody the following elements: (1) making an impact on society; (2) conveying respect for the human body;
(3) embracing natural nudity; and (4) setting an example that encourages others to follow.


Four members of the Team submitted nominations and six members selected a winner among those nominees.  We’re pleased to announce that The Walter for the Week beginning May 20, 2012 goes to…

The American Skinny Dipper

Whether it took place at night or in daytime…


Whether Tom Sawyer or Huckleberry Finn


Whether it’s the people who helped set a Guinness World Record…


Katharine Hepburn in On Golden Pond


Boy Scouts in camp during a bygone era…


A summer idyll celebrated on a cover of The Saturday Evening Post


You all helped prove one thing. Stripping off your clothes to go swimming bare is naturally a lot of fun. That’s a great start! So to ALL of you great American skinny dippers from ALL of us, we wish you THIS WALTER!


Bare Platypus Note:  The Walter is named in honor of Dr. Walter Bishop, a character on the hit television series "Fringe." He appears naturally nude on the program from time to time and he always cooks naked on Tuesdays.  A Walter recipient is announced each Tuesday on The Platypus.




Important News From the Campaign Trail

ON FRIDAY an important announcement may have gone unnoticed by those who haven’t been avid fans of nude sunbathing for more than a few years.  Bare Platypus immediately recognized the name of a long-standing foe of nude beaches who is now making a bid for a seat in the US Senate: Former Congressman David Weldon.

For years Weldon represented a Florida congressional district that included parts of the Canaveral National Seashore (specifically, the Brevard County zone; Congressman John Mica represents the more northern parts).  During his tenure, Weldon authored the infamous “Weldon Amendment” to a US Department of the Interior appropriations bill, prohibiting any funds going to the Department if they would be used in any way to establish a clothing-optional beach in violation of Brevard County law.

For its part, Brevard County prohibited nudity which is a shame because Playalinda Beach (the portion of the CNS around parking lot #13) has a rich tradition for skinny-dipping that goes back decades.  People still swim and sunbathe in the buff there, but they get no signage supporting the practice. They potentially face an occasional fine if Brevard Sherriff’s personnel have nothing better to do than issue citations on a given day.

The important message for today is that it would probably NOT be a good thing for nudists if Dr. Weldon---he is a physician, which has always made his phobia with the naked human body a puzzle to us---replaced Senator Nelson.  Currently, to do so Weldon would need to win the Republican primary and then defeat Nelson, a former astronaut.
Winning the Republican nomination currently means defeating two challengers: US Representative Connie Mack (son and namesake of a former US Senator from Florida) as well as George Lemieux, who served a brief tenure in the Senate as a replacement to Sen. Mel Martinez prior to the election that put Marco Rubio in office.

Those who value nude recreation in Florida would do well to see that Dr. Weldon remains in the full-time practice of medicine.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Nudists: Deal with Race or Become Irrelevant

HERE’S A quick question for the Bare Platypus readers who regularly read other nudist and naturist blogs: You see lots of nudist pictures every day. How many depict Black people? How many Latinos? What about Asians? Got an idea of the numbers of all three of these groups, combined, that you’ve seen either in blog pics or while actually attending a nude beach or club?

Good. Now we’ll ask, Is that number anything close to 4 out of every 10 nudists? Certainly not.

The Bare Platypus has written before on the subject of nudity and race, including the ways that certain groups are greatly under-represented. But today the question is especially significant as news media  including The Wall St. Journal run stories about US Census Data showing that “minority” births now outnumber white ones. We put the word “minority” in quotes because we don’t see how any group that outnumbers another can be called a minority for long.

Census Bureau data makes the statistic official. America has a Black President. Yet in all the nude clubs, beaches, and websites we’ve visited, none of them would belie such stats and developments. It’s time to start asking, “Why?”

Addressing the issue could begin by looking at Black culture, Asian culture, and Latino culture. Are there aspects of all three that make it less likely they would enjoy sunning in their birthday suits? No doubt. Yet we have to point out that in many of those surveys of America questioning whether those polled had, or would, like to visit a nude beach, Blacks were, proportionately, most interested in giving it a try.

We know from the many pictures from journalists during the Vietnam War, that at least some Asian people lived in a state of nudity and certainly allowed their children to live that way. Perhaps this was purely due to economic conditions. Perhaps economics and the costs of admission to nudist facilities is a factor too.

Addressing the issue means asking why so few nudist publications depict “minorities” or even discuss them. We also need to know how / if people from all walks of life are welcomed when they visit.

The only certainty is that, as percentages of White Americans shrink and the ranks of other races expand, social nudism will be less and less significant unless it can reverse some of the trends we see now. Moreover, nudist political influence---never a strong suit---will wane.

“Red and Yellow, Black and White, they are precious in His sight.” Precious to OUR future too.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Bare Bum Hospital Gowns

WITH ALL the campaign talk about how to make health care in this country more affordable, can we offer a small suggestion?

Let’s do away with the costs associated in buying and laundering those stupid half-shirt-half-apron things they give patients in hospitals to “preserve their modesty and dignity.”  Um… just what again did you say these gowns would preserve here? While you smeared our bodies with orange iodine war paint? Or while you hung that clear plastic bag on the side of our beds so that every visitor to our rooms knew precisely how much we’d whizzed in the past 24 hours? 

Oh yeah. You're preserving patient dignity.  With a pale green, sometimes daisy-print, sometimes cartoon-print garment which ties in the back with two strings we can’t reach.  So you tie it for us using a knot so loose that even a Tenderfoot Scout wouldn’t put his name to it. This ensures that it will come undone when we’re walking in the hospital corridors like you tell us to do after surgery. The Platypus has flashed an unintended iodine-painted moon at more than one hospital patron and if it’s all the same we’d prefer to just go naked instead.
How about giving patients the option of accepting—or refusing—a “modesty” gown while offering a corresponding credit on their hospital bills when they decline?  Given typical medical rates on everything, clicking the “reject gown” option during the admission process will probably save a patient enough dough to buy a chalet in Aspen. That is, until the health insurance companies start specifying  “no open ass wraps allowed on this plan” and everyone ends up naked anyway.


Then it's County General... your neighborhood nudist resort.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

BARE Naked Award: “The Walter”

BARE PLATYPUS is very proud to announce our latest blog development: The Walter awards. 

The Walter is named in honor of Dr. Walter Bishop, the genius-crazed scientist on the hit TV series, Fringe.  As you will see in this film clip about Naked Tuesday on Youtube , Dr. Walter brings a matter-of-fact approach to nudity to the small screen that is both humorous---without mockery---and non-sexual.


We will present a Walter each week to a person, celebrity, or story that most depicts nudity as a positive or everyday aspect of life.  We will announce The Walter on “Naked Tuesdays” in honor of his signature scene (linked above). This one’s for you, sir. 


There’s a life lesson for the rest of us in this:  Cook naked on Tuesdays!

Monday, May 14, 2012

NUDIST Senator; NUDIST Supreme Court Justice

OKAY, WE’LL admit that we have lured readers in with today’s headline and done so under false pretenses.  But let us explain.

This week Newsweek magazine ran a cover story calling Barak Obama "The First GAY President" . (Don't believe us? Please click the link and look at their cover for yourself.) The "logic" of author Andrew Sullivan is that, since President Obama has come to understand (identify with?) those seeking to legalize gay marriage, and given his willingness to advance that cause, it is somehow proper to label him a “gay president.”  With near glee, talk radio stations today were repeatedly referring to our "gay president" too.

Applying Newsweek magazine’s illogical standards of labeling, we can now announce that US Senator Patrick Leahy is "Our First Nudist Senator”. After all, he once wrote a legal memorandum as a State’s Attorney in Vermont explaining that simple skinny dipping is not a crime in that state.

Likewise, applying Newsweek’s twisted labels, U.S. Supreme Court Justice William Brennan must be "Our First Nudist Supreme Court Justice."  Brennan once quoted a friend of the court brief written by Robert Page---General Counsel to the American Sunbathing Association---while writing a dissenting opinion in a court case (Massachusetts v. Oakes).  Brennan was sympathetic to the nudists’ argument.

Come to think of it, since the editors of this blog think Platypusses are neat animals that deserve wildlife protection, you may nowrightfully call us an actual Platypus too!
Platypus Note:  This blog expresses no view on gay marriage.  We simply think Newsweek's decision to label our president "gay" makes no sense whatsoever. 






Nudists Shouldn’t Get Burned

SUNBURN AND sunscreens are in the news this week. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) issued the results of a study that found that fifty percent (50%) of people under the age of 30 had experienced at least one notable sunburn in the previous year.  The CDC is worried that it may mean young people are not taking the danger of skin cancer seriously.

Then there’s news today that the Food and Drug Administration has given sunscreen companies an extension on the deadline for re-labeling their products under new laws that require: (1) clarity that sunscreen products may be water resistant but are not waterproof (and therefore should be reapplied frequently as people swim and sweat); (2) clarity about whether a given product provides UVB protection (against visible burning), UVA protection (against rays that cause cancer but have less visible effects), or both.

The extension means that you will need to do some independent research online to find out which products offer reliable protection against skin damage.  It also means that, whichever product(s) you use, you get out of the sun and into the shade of umbrellas, tiki huts, wear a sun hat, and go indoors when you’ve had enough sun.

We trust that nudists have already been doing these things for years. We want to set a good example for the rest of the world about responsible sun safety AND we want you to be with us for many years to come.




5/15/12 Update:  This just in... a leading website has just released its list of the top (and worst) sunscreens on the market.  The Platypus does NOT vouch for the quality of this information, but perhaps readers will find it helpful: Yahoo Sun Screen Reviews

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mom’s Day. Now Forget What She Told You.

IT’S MOTHER’S day and the Platypus would be remiss if we didn’t say “thanks” to all our moms. You brought us into this world, fed us, changed our nappies, got us ready for school, drove us to soccer, band, and ballet.  You helped us with so many things and gave us so much of yourselves that you deserve to be celebrated today. 

Now for the hard part: Moms are great but in some cases we’ve got to forget what they may have told us.  Among those things? “Put your clothes on!” “Keep your clothes on!”

Moms, would it have hurt to let your kid(s) streak around the house?  When you visited others with a pool on those hot summer days, would it have been so bad to allow some skinny-dipping instead of saying, “Oh… we should have remembered your swimsuit.  We’ll have to remember that next time so you can swim with the other kids…”  The same goes for romping through the sprinkler in our birthday suits or sleeping in the buff when we were too tired to be struggling with pajamas after a long day.

Many of us actually have to get past the maternal instruction we received for years that good kids wore clothes and never looked at other people who weren’t wearing them in the National Geographic.

If your mother was more open-minded and embraced the human body, GOOD for her. She gets extra kudos today.  If you’re raising your own kids (or did raise them) to enjoy their birthday suits you get extra thanks and kudos too. Who better to wish all this for you than an egg-laying mammal with lots of puggles of its own?



Thursday, May 10, 2012

Platypus Rex

IF THE Platypus was king, nudity would be legal. Anywhere.

Not required, you understand.  Just legal.
Oh, people who don’t like “naked” could still have their way where it suited them. Private homeowner associations could ban nudity like some of them ban the display of the American flag. (Frankly, we don’t understand anyone who wants to ban either nudity or the flag but… Oh, well.)

We’re just talking about the beaches, parks, sidewalks, and thousands of other places funded by all our tax dollars. Imagine that. Being an owner of something and being treated like an owner!
Driving naked? What’s the problem? Picnics in the buff? No problem, either. Ditto for swimming holes and walking in a warm summer rain.

Becoming king and changing all laws prohibiting public nudity is on the Platypus “to do” list.  Right up there with winning the Publishers’ Clearing House sweepstakes and getting the cast of Jersey Shore to pet the nice rattlesnake.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Kids’ Books with NUDITY???

TODAY WE read about the passing of famed children’s author Maurice Sendak .  Sendak is most famous, perhaps, for his book Where the Wild Things Are .  That book was read to countless numbers of us in elementary school and was made into a feature film many years later.  At the time the book was controversial because the young protagonist (in wild beast outfit) mixed it up with all manner of hairy monsters.

What fewer people may know is that Sendak also created a book in which a young boy spends most of the story completely naked.  In the Night Kitchen takes place as the youngster dreams.  His dream takes him out of bed---and out of his pajamas---then into the kitchen where big cereal bowls and giant spoons decorate the enchanted setting. 

Unlike Wild Things, Night Kitchen never seemed to overcome the controversy of featuring illustrations of a naked little boy.  We certainly don’t recall ever being read the book during elementary school.  Dr. Seuss experienced the same phenomenon: Green Eggs & Ham and The Cat in the Hat always got top billing, but Seuss’s story of The Seven Lady Godivas?  Not so much.  Similarly, Shel Silverstein’s Where the Sidewalk Ends is a treasured volume of children’s poetry. But Silverstein's poem about the kids who wish they could melt right out of their clothes on a hot day rarely seems to get a public reading.

We can see why.  A Pennsylvania school district recently banned another children’s book from the library entitled The Dirty Cowboy.  Just one pair of parents had complained that the book groomed young children to accept “pornography” because it featured illustrations of a cowboy whose dog won’t return his clothes after he takes a bath.  Strategically illustrated objects obscure any genitals, but what did that matter?  The school board voted unanimously to pull Cowboy from the shelves.

Future authors and illustrators are no doubt taking notes.

Bare Platypus Recipes for Relaxation





THIS WEEK we have been providing tips for getting ready for Memorial Day weekend.  To that aim, we present you with two official Bare Platypus recipes for relaxation. 
...

...

...

For our first recipe you’ll need:

¾ Oz. Sloe Gin

¾ Oz. Amaretto

¾ Oz. Southern Comfort

Orange Juice

Ice

In a Collins glass pour the alcohol over ice.  Top with Orange Juice. For a dash of panache, add a maraschino cherry. 

Serve ONLY to naked guests age 21 and over and do NOT give your guests back their clothes or their keys unless fully sober.  (You can make a non-alcoholic version by mixing orange juice with a dash of grenadine syrup and the cherry.) The drink is known as an “Alabama Slammer.”  Drinking it ONLY when you’re buck naked is our idea.
 

Our second suggestion is the “Broken Pinkie Toe”:

Pink Grapefruit Juice

1 Oz. Peach Schnapps

Ice

In a rocks glass pour Peach Schnapps over ice. Top off with the juice and stir gently.

Okay, we can’t see going into a bar and saying “I’ll have some malt liquor and the wife will have a Broken Pinkie Toe,” either.  So you’ll have to enjoy this one at home.  Fortunately that means you can sip it whilst lounging in your birthday suit.

Again, this drink is for the 21 + crowd only, but you can serve the kids any leftover grapefruit juice at breakfast.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Plan Now for A Naked Memorial Day

MEMORIAL DAY is, first and foremost, a day to remember the sacrifices that the men and women of the armed services have made so that we may enjoy freedom. Consistent with that, plan to visit a cemetery to remember fallen loved ones, watch a parade and cheer the VFW and American Legion, or make a donation to a veterans’ group.


As the holiday is all about freedom, also plan to spend some of it naked!  The three-day weekend marks the traditional beginning of summer, so there’s no better occasion to start stripping off. If you haven’t already started planning for your day(s) of naked freedom, Bare Platypus has a few ideas:


  • Mow the grass in your fenced back yard and plant those shrubs over the next couple of weeks so that you can spend the holiday enjoying your own Garden of Eden;


  • Make reservations at a hotel not far from Haulover Beach, Miami, Gunnison Beach in New Jersey, Rooster Rock Beach in Oregon, Mazo Beach in Wisconsin, Black’s Beach in San Diego, or another space on public lands where you can be nude;


  • Plan to visit one of the nudist clubs within the country.  For a list, click: HERE 


  • On a tight budget with no private backyard? Don’t let that stop you.  Start acquiring the items of a perfect picnic lunch (beginning with the non-perishables like a bottle of wine, condiments, etc.).  When the holiday arrives hold your picnic on a blanket in your own living room.  Turn the radio in to beach tunes and get bare;


  • Get supplies for a bare slip n slide (sheet plastic, the hose, dish soap) or a kiddie pool that you can set up in your yard.  Skinny dip at night with the family if you haven’t got a privacy fence.


Maybe some of our readers will post ideas for enjoying this gateway to summer in your birthday suit.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

The Avengers Movie Sports Good Nude Scene

ON FRIDAY a long-awaited movie The Avengers made its debut in the US.  The film features a team of Marvel Comics superheroes including Captain America, Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Thor, and others to do super battle with super villains. Samuel L. Jackson plays Nick Fury, the mastermind who brings them all together.


Nudists will be interested to know that there is actually a positive “nude” scene in this flick.  It happens when the Incredible Hulk returns to the form of humble alter-ego Dr. Bruce Banner (played by actor Mark Ruffalo). Given the Hulk’s mammoth size, when he shrinks back into Banner the mammoth trousers he’s wearing manage to fall off, leaving the Doctor nude within a pile of rubble.  It’s up to a janitor (played by Harry Dean Stanton who you may remember from the cult classic Repo Man) to rescue the superhero with a spare pair of jeans. 

The matter-of-fact way that a nude character and a custodian have a conversation about what’s just happened makes for a great lighthearted moment. But it also scores an ever-so-important victory for those who value the human body.  By juxtaposing Banner beneath rubble the movie keeps its PG rating. Somehow it also manages to make missing pants a part of life rather than a scandalous event or, worse, ignore the issue altogether by shrinking big clothes along with the creature.


While one of our Bare Platypus team watched it with his puggles over the weekend, that scene made for a very humorous moment when a seven year old boy seated next to their group took it in. As if talking about the family dog getting out and running down the street or a forgotten homework assignment he muttered aloud, “Uh oh. He’s naked.”


Imagine that. It’s possible to interject nudity in a movie without leaving anyone “traumatized” or “defiled.” Just one of the things that makes The Avengers a must-see this summer.