Friday, April 6, 2012

Sleeping NAKED - Platypus Advice (with pic)

The Bare Platypus team voted pajamas the most unnecessary article of clothing ever created.  Some of us lobbied for swimsuits, but concede that there are times when respecting the sensibilities of others makes wearing them a requirement.  But sleepwear?  Really?  We just don’t get it. 

IF the weather is chilly AND you have a habit of tossing and turning during slumber that causes you to lose bedcovers and get cold in the night maybe you should wear some flannel during colder months.    The rest of the time you should sleep starkers.  Consider this: If you spend an average of eight hours per night snoozing, you spend more than a third of your life asleep.  That’s one-third of your time you could be enjoying your own skin, and it doesn’t have to affect anyone else!

With years of experience reading message boards and emails to nudist sites, we know there are a few issues associated with dozing in the buff that you may wonder about, so let’s “cover” them:

Q:   What about when I go out of my room and down the hall to use the bathroom during the night? I live with (roommates, parents, siblings, etc.) who wouldn’t understand.
A:   Invest in a nice plush terry-cloth bathrobe and place it near your bedside for ease of access.

Q:   What about in case of fire? I don’t wanna be caught naked if the (house, apartment, dorm, doghouse) burns.
A:   First, consider moving out of the fire-trap in which you live and make sure there are fresh batteries in your smoke detectors.  Next, see the above suggestions about keeping a terry cloth robe next to your bedside.  Finally, if you do end up stark naked on the sidewalk watching your place burn, turn to the nearest firefighter and say, “Do you mind not staring at my naked butt?  My @#$%&ing house is on fire and I would rather you spend your time doing something about that!”

Q:   I share a bedroom with a (roommate, sibling, etc.) and they’re gonna notice if I start changing into nothing to sleep. What do I do?
A:   Wear boxers (guys) or a long t-shirt to bed and then ditch em under your pillow when the lights go out.

Q:   I’m a heavy sleeper and my (parents, siblings, boss, truant officer, probation officer, constituents) often come into my room to wake me up for (work, school, court appearances, run for reelection to Congress).  What do I do to avoid awkward moments?
A:   Use the lock on your bedroom door.  If you don’t have one, install one.  If you have no door, or locks are a no-no per house rules, sleep naked anyway.  We’re virtually certain that after the first time said intruders wake you and see a glimpse of birthday suit, they’ll probably start knocking on your door or yelling from the hall.  In any event, you’ll have broken the ice about your preferred sleeping attire.  You’ll be half asleep and unlikely to remember much of the episode.

9/27/13 Update: Dakota U. "Beditorial" on the subject at Sleeping Nude "Beditorial"

Bare Platypus now offers products with Platypus artwork at the Bare Platypus Souvenir Shop .  You can get a tote bag or a coffee mug, a t-shirt, or all three!  Plus there's more to come.

These designs are one-of-a-kinds that you won't find elsewhere.  Tasteful enough that you can show or serve them to all guests, but unusual enough (and always bare) that they can help you get a conversation going.

You're invited to visit!