Saturday, April 7, 2012

Nudity’s Safe. Why Ban It?

Bare Platypus is sitting in a tire shop watching the television set in its waiting room.  (Platypusses may have webbed feet, a beaver tail, and poisonous hind claws but they can’t fix their own brakes.)

Anyway, the news program on the tube has run stories about three public events where people have been injured or killed.  The first was an airshow with a predictable air crash.  The second was one of those boat races where tiny craft with GIANT engines on them fly across the waves with virtually no way to stop them.  Last Saturday a boat pilot died when his boat hit a wave the wrong way.  When the races resumed on Sunday another two racers were killed during the same tournament.

The third news story discussed the violence that has erupted during  children’s Easter egg hunts across the country as parents pushed and shoved others out of the way to give their own kids a better chance of scoring more eggs.

Bare Platypus is not looking to ‘diss air shows, boat races, or egg hunts. Heck, Platypusses contribute to the world’s supply of eggs after all.  But we have to wonder why a nude beach---where no planes crash, boats sink, or people get pummeled and shoved---is more controversial, and likely to be banned, than the afore-mentioned activities?  Does it really hurt anyone to see a bare bottom, a breast, or a penis?  More than a flying piece of aircraft aluminum or a parental elbow to the jaw?

Perhaps there's sunburn if sunblock is not applied correctly.

Skinny dipping hasn’t always been controversial; at least not in single gender situations. The Saturday Evening Post once celebrated boys enjoying a dip with Norman Rockwell and Joe Leyendecker’s illustrations on covers in summer months.  YMCA’s used to allow (indeed, require) nude swimming.
So what do we need to do to get more nude beaches?  Maybe we should start arranging dangerous jousting with beach umbrellas.