Sunday, March 18, 2012

Celebrate Holidays… Naturally!

We just wrapped up St. Patrick’s Day. It occurred to the Bare Platypus that we missed an opportunity to discuss the benefits of ringing in such special days while clothes-free.

Here are some ideas for more natural celebrations:

Christmas – Send close friends and family holiday cards with the proverbial Santa hat and birthday suit. “Merry Christmas and a happy nude year” is a perennial favorite;

New Year’s – The New Year baby only wears a sash bearing 20___.  You don’t need more than a sash to sing Auld Lang Syne either;

Valentine’s Day – Hey, remember that Cupid is just a small nakey guy with wings.  Be cupid with your spouse;

President’s Day – John Quincy Adams skinny dipped in the Potomac most days.  There’s an oft-cited story about a woman reporter who sat on his clothes and wouldn’t give them back until he agreed to an interview for her publication.  Lyndon Johnson skinny-dipped in the White House swimming pool. So commemorate the occasion with a skinny dip of your own.  Even if it’s in your own bathtub;

St. Patrick’s Day – Go easy on the Irish whiskey and ale. Find a different pot of gold at the end of the rainbow by enjoying a quiet meal of corned beef and cabbage, some folk music from the Emerald Isle, in your bare skin;

Memorial Day – This weekend marks the traditional start of summer.  Set up a picnic blanket in your fenced back yard and start working on an all-over tan!

Independence Day – The most summer of holidays! Mark the day with independence from clothes. Skinny dip in the family pool.  Later, if you treat your yard with enough spray repellant you can listen to the fireworks pop as you bask in the cool night air of your fenced back yard;

Labor Day – Don’t let the last days of summer pass without at least one more nude sunbath;

Halloween – Come on. You KNOW the best costumes could be built around a nude theme.  Even if you can’t wear it everywhere;

Thanksgiving – Take a break from the relatives (and make some extra room for the turkey you ate) by taking a respite in the oasis that is your own room.  Just a few hours will restore your spirits, leaving you ready to listen to Uncle Fred’s  rants about the days’ football games.