Motoring Naked: Tales from the Road

SOMEHOW THIS week the Bare Platypus team started talking about driving naked on roadways.  We think the many Twitter tweets from fellow nudists and naturists on the subject may have triggered the discussion. In any event, the members of the team started sharing stories of whether, and when, they’ve tried it. 

We even talked to the lawyer on our team for some guidance.  Predictably, just like a lawyer he hedged a bit on his answers.  His first disclaimer: traveling interstates often means crossing different states and he’s not admitted to the bar in every one so his words shouldn’t be construed as “advice.” 

He also reminded us that we live in an age where everyone has a cell phone so if even one person sees you and is offended, they may report it to highway patrol. An anonymous call may not stand up in court for lack of a complaining witness on a disorderly conduct charge, but it will get you pulled over. You probably don’t want to explain being naked to the Georgia State patrolman. 

Finally, all things being equal, it’s probably better to be motoring starkers down the highway (especially, say, at night) than coasting by an elementary school.  It’s more difficult to establish you were trying to offend someone or get your jollies by exposing yourself.

Okay, there’s some light legal treatment of the subject.  But what about fun stories from people who admit to this guilty pleasure?  Everyone on the Platypus Team confessed to doing it at least once, usually to break up the boredom on long trips.  Here are a few highlights:

Platypus 1:  “We were traveling across the country and hit some long stretches of road in Texas where there is virtually nothing until you get to El Paso.  Everyone in the car shucked off their clothes and we drove for 100’s of miles rarely seeing anyone else.  When we came to more “civilization” we were happy to be in the land of good restaurants and gas stations again but getting dressed was a downer.”

Platypus 2:  “Our family drove a big Ford van for a while, which was great because it sat high enough on the road that only big trucks could’ve seen into it.  I often put half of a long towel on the driver’s seat and let the other half drape down.  When coming upon toll booths or passing a tall truck it was easy to pull the draped end over my lap to be discreet.”

Platypus 3:  “Usually my wife is a bit more cautious when it comes to baring all on the highway, but one day the weather was so perfect that we rolled down the windows, opened the sun roof, and actually kept the speedometer at 55 mph.  The call of sun and sky must have been too strong because she adjusted the seat to lay nearly flat and let the sunbeams fall on her naked chest and torso.  Truthfully it was kinda difficult to focus all my attention on the road!”

Platypus 4:  “Our then three-year old son had been riding with us on an extended trip.  For the better part of a day he was good but, understandably, got cranky as the hours and miles wore on.  We stopped at a rest area to get a drink and stretch our legs, but when it came time to get back in the car, the kid adamantly refused.  He was doing that “keep his legs straight thing” that makes it impossible to get a three-year old into a car seat.  Finally my husband lighted on an idea and offered to take all the boy’s clothes off and let him ride naked if he would cooperate.  We went through another two states with no trouble and he fell asleep before we reached our destination!”

We have one more entry, not from the Platypus Team, but from a mom with an autistic son who hates wearing clothes.  It has led to some humorous episodes in the family car that we’ll let you read for yourself at: Considering Move to a Nudist Colony .

How about it readers?  Got a naked motoring experience you’d like to share?

Google Drive and Nudists: Our Heads in the Cloud?

THESE DAYS it seems that whenever the Bare Platypus team wonders what the topic of the day should be, some news story from the online community hits and… Voila’! 

Today is no exception, as we learned that Google is launching Google Drive , an all new cloud app that lets users store 1 terabyte or more of documents, photos, music, etc. up on Google’s “cloud servers,” then pull it down and use it at virtually any time, anywhere there’s internet access. 

An extremely useful aspect of this cloud computing is the ability to send a link to someone on your work team who can click it and download an item without worrying about sending large files as attachments to emails, etc.

As with every great piece of technology being launched and offered free or cheap these days, nudists would do well to consider the drawbacks of putting too much of their lives “in the clouds.”  Yesterday we received a stark reminder when Facebook froze the account of AllNudist with no warning.  The reason? Someone or something flagged a post as obscene.

Admittedly, the Bare Platypus relies on the neat freebies that Google offers to deliver content to our blog followers.  We get free hosting space for text and illustrations that appear here, free html editing tools (remember the old days when everything had to be hand coded with <TAGS>?), and even free statistics on web traffic and sources. 

No nudist should ever forget that it could all change with a corporate policy decision that wipes out years of relationship-building, content development, and a subscriber base. That’s because nudists have always been in danger of offending government and corporate sensibilities. 

How?

• The essence of nudism is—or should be—that you don’t have to buy anything to enjoy it.  That doesn’t sit well with the people who want to sell you swimwear and other products; 

• Nudists like to publish and peruse materials that depict the human body in its natural state.  That offends prudes on one end of the spectrum.  But pornographers on the other end don’t want people to have a natural view of the body either. People who do are less likely to whip out their credit card and pay to see silicone-enhanced models contorting in unnatural ways;

• Nudists like the Bare Platypus believe that nudism is suitable and beneficial for people of ALL ages.  That really hits a hot button with a public and government ready to inflict draconian measures on anyone who would suggest that tykes be allowed to enjoy their birthday suits.

By all means, embrace technology our fellow nudists. Just never forget that what is in the cloud can be easily scanned and purged when it’s no longer considered politically correct.

Corporate Nudity Bans More Harmful Than Laws?

MORE THAN fifty years ago, nudist leaders had to take US Postal authorities all the way to the Supreme Court to establish the right to send nudist magazines through the mail.  Sunshine Press v. Summerfield was a landmark ruling that photographs of nude humans in things like picnics and volleyball games were not obscene.

In 2012 nudists still tackle the problem of bans against their material, but they are much more likely to come from the private sector.  Today, for example, we learned that ALL NUDIST had their account suspended by Facebook over a posting that the site’s “autobots” deemed offensive.  As AllNudist laments, there is no way to reach a live person to resolve the problem.  All that can be done is to wait out the suspension and wonder what does and doesn’t cross Facebook’s ever moving line of propriety.

Facebook recently bought Instagram, and it already seems that company has Stepped Up Enforcement of no-nudity policies. These may have been included in Terms of Service for some time, but have been taken to a new level. Photographers and artists have decried these moves, while the company claims they are necessary to comply with yet another company’s nudity policies: The iPhone app rules from Apple.

Bare Platypus also read this week that PayPal sent an EDICT out to eBook publishing companies warning that it would terminate credit-card processing privileges for any company carrying objectionable material.  One clever poster on a message board noted that if every offensive topic on the PayPal list got a book banned, then our Holy Bible would be first to go. 

Bare Platypus team members once approached some of the highest level employees of Pay Pal (e.g. the General Counsel and  the Director of Government Affairs) after meeting them at a legislative conference.  Despite laying out a case that had those individuals nodding their heads and following up with us in emails, there was nothing we could do to get policies--- like Pay Pal’s refusal to process funds for the Federation of Canadian Naturists’ subscriptions to Going Natural---reversed.

We agree with those who state that corporate policies are not, in the classic sense of the term, “censorship.”  They do not involve government action and violators of corporate policies do not face prison sentences.   However, the impact of “no nudity” and strict topic restrictions is no less pronounced when it comes to advancing the message of nudism.  

Clothes FREE Recreation

THIS WEEK the New York Times ran an article about the escalating costs of youth sports called Big Price Tags Attached to Even Littlest Leagues .  The story quoted figures as steep as $200 and up for baseball bats and $11,000+ yearly travel budgets for even pint sized players! The writer later hints at having nostalgia for the simpler days of cheap stick ball and sandlot games.

While we’re on the subject of longing for the days of less expensive sportswear, can we suggest a return to skinny-dipping?  There are no expensive swimsuits to buy.  Just as importantly, birthday suits are always ready to put on wherever we go.  We’ve all got one too!

Somewhere along the way towards convincing us that we “need” $200 bats and expensive cleats to win Little League games, the apparel companies also convinced us that the only “decent” way to swim is in long baggy shorts. Or wearing things that look like the wetsuits Jacques Cousteau used to wear to scuba at hundreds of meters deep!  These leave only ankles and forearms “exposed” to sun and water.

Fight back!  Get a cheap kiddie pool at Wal-Mart and go swimming in it completely naked in your own backyard.  Let your kids do the same.

After all, you’re going to need the money you’ll save on swimwear to buy that Louisville Slugger from Louis Vitton.

Our Birthday Suits Not Made in China

GOOD NEWS at a time when gasoline tops $4.00 a gallon and the National Debt tops $13 trillion.  There’s one thing we own that probably wasn’t made in Hong Kong, Indonesia, or Sri Lanka.  It’s our birthday suits!

Trouble is, we’re not exporting many birthday suits to other countries, so our supply is unlikely to lessen any trade imbalance.  In fact, we’re exporting something else: prude notions about nakedness and the human body.

The best example we can give you came a couple of years ago when some members of the Bare Platypus team got an urgent communique’ from the President of the Naturist Federation of Croatia, within former Yugoslavia.  Now, before we go further we should explain that nude beaches and naturist resorts are as big in Croatia as cheesesteaks in Philadelphia.  They’re synonymous with the culture and a thriving part of the economy---like banking in Switzerland.

At least they used to be.  But now the glow from all-over tanning may have lost some of its golden hue.  For the first time in decades the Croatian ministry of tourism has considered dropping naturism from the activities it enthusiastically promotes within the international travel market.  Officials have already started moving naturist brochures from atop the tables at trade expos and will sheepishly reach under the tablecloth to retrieve such brochures only upon request.

What’s more, the Croatians have greatly pulled back from depicting even bare bum shots of kids walking  the Istrian Peninsula beaches that have served more than four generations of nudist families.

Want to know the reason for all this change?  Croatia is hoping to attract more Anglo-American tourists from certain “developed” countries who view the whole birthday-suit thing---especially among kids---as creepy.  Clergy abuse scandals plaguing Eastern Europe have played a role too.

Thus, the President of the naturist association in Croatia contacted nudist advisors in the US like the Bare Platypus to ask for guidance on a problem they’ve never faced before.  "How do we persuade nudity foes in government to change their minds?"

Platypus wishes we were back in the days when America exported blue jeans and steel.

We Raised 4 Kids as Nudists

THERE HAS been a lot of discussion over the past several weeks about child admission policies at resorts.  We have also been monitoring lots of tweets by fellow nudists and naturists on Twitter.  Most of our fellow tweeters do not identify themselves as part of a “nudist family” (usually it’s couples).  Some have posted articles about nudity and children, including  a mother’s New York Times post about casual nudity around the home after showering, etc.

What about a true “nudist” family? One that practices more than occasional nudity around the home. One that actually makes it a point to visit nude beaches and clubs on its vacation itinerary.  Do such families exist and, if so, how do things work out for them?
As it so happens, some members of the Bare Platypus team ARE parents to a nudist family with four “puggles,” who have grown into healthy well-adjusted adults and young adults.  In this blog post we interview them to get answers to some of those questions that others have.

Q.  When did you decide to raise a family of nudists?

A.  For us the decision first came as a young married couple before we had kids.  We began visiting nudist parks about one year into our marriage and never wore clothes around home much.  When our oldest daughter came along, we simply continued in what was then our family’s way of life.  That continued with a second daughter and two sons!

Q.   Did your kids ever embarrass you by being naked at an inappropriate time?

A.  We’ve been asked that question before and the answer is, “no.”  Not once.  From an early age our children grasped the concept of context easily.  They understood that we put on dressier clothes to go to church, that we got dressed to go outside for shopping, etc.  Appropriate nudity comes down to time and place.  If you have kids who understand when they can go about in their underwear and when they shouldn’t, they will grasp when it’s okay to be au naturel.

Q.  So there were no humorous episodes…

A.  We didn’t say that!  One time we had the luxury of moving into a community only about 5 minutes from a well-known nudist resort that we started visiting almost every weekend after the move.  We also started looking for a church in the community and going to one that proved a good fit.  One particularly sultry day at church our second daughter (about 3 years old) blurted out “It’s HOT. Can we go to _[nudist place]_ afterwards?”  We got smiles from some people who knew what that was, but little else.

Q.  What about when friends and relatives came to visit?

A.  When it came to other people's kids, we exercised an abundance of caution.  We were always fully dressed in their presence.  If friends or cousins came over with their parents and our kids wanted to swim in their birthday suits, we would ask said parents if that would be okay.  We paid close attention to body language and non-verbal cues.  If it was okay, our kids went bare.  Sometimes our visitors would follow “suit.”  Always with their parents’ permission and direct supervision.

Q.  Were those parents usually okay with it?

A.  Often they were okay.  In a few cases it led to conversations where their whole family visited a nudist park with us sometimes.

Q.  Now that your kids have grown, how do you think they’ve turned out?

A.  We joke to each other that we can’t believe how ultra-normal and ultra-responsible all four have become.  They’re wiser with money than we were at their age, for example.  And they do not seem to suffer from the materialism that many youth do.  They certainly don’t judge people by the clothes they wear.  But they also place less importance on things. 

Q.  Did your “puggles” ever go through the “I don’t want to be naked” phase?
A.  Not ours.  As parents we made a conscious decision that we would never force the issue of nudity.  Maybe our relaxed “they make the decision about clothes” attitude helped avoid any backlash.  Or maybe our apples don’t fall far from the tree. 

Q.  Now that they’re grown, are they still nudists? 

A.  Yes. Our oldest daughter took her boyfriend from college to visit the local nudist club.  (Editor’s note: a report of their trip can be read by clicking here:  A College Student's First-Time Experience.  )

Q.  There are reports about some nudist clubs being off limits to families with kids.  What are your thoughts on that subject?

A.  First, we’ll say that there were times when the two of us enjoyed getaways to nudist clubs or bed & breakfasts without the kids.  We took a couple of nude cruises while the kids stayed with grandparents too. 

For us, the issue of whether kids are allowed---or welcomed---at some nudist clubs is less significant than rhetoric being raised about whether kids belong in  any nudist club.  On that subject we vehemently believe that our kids enjoyed our family’s bare outings and that they enhanced our family experience.  We always had our kids in direct line of sight supervision too for a lot of reasons, not the least of which was water safety.

One thing that bothers us is the mentioning of family nudism less and less. We are NOT suggesting that there should be kids in every club or  8 x 10 pics of little ones splashed across websites.  We do think they could take more steps to let families know they’re welcome… maybe with a tasteful cartoon graphic or something to make the point.

As for clubs, it’s hard to feel welcome as a family if the other guests glare at you when you enter the pool area.  For those clubs who prefer a quiet adult-retirement feel, just say so in your brochures and online.  We’ll know where to avoid bringing the grandkids when they come along in the future.

Q.  That’s a lot of info for now.  Can we visit you with questions at a later time?

A.  Sure.  We think nudism added a positive dimension to our family, along with our Christian faith and keeping close ties to grandparents.  We’re always happy to talk about the subject.

04/25/12 Update: For a different perspective, click The Gloss to read an article written by a woman who grew up with nudist parents.

05/03/12  Update: For yet another perspective, click ABC News 20/20 , a story about a nudist family living in Sunsport Gardens that will air this week. 

06/01/12 Update: Our college age nudist couple are "revisited" with another story: Return Visit


01/12/13 Update: College nudists attend family birthday party celebration in birthday suits.

[Updated Regularly]

Bare Platypus now offers products with Platypus artwork at the Bare Platypus Souvenir Shop .  You can get a tote bag or a coffee mug, a t-shirt, or all three!  Plus there's more to come.

These designs are one-of-a-kinds that you won't find elsewhere.  Tasteful enough that you can show or serve them to all guests, but unusual enough (and always bare) that they can help you get a conversation going.

You're invited to visit!

Want Transparency? Go Bare!

The other day one of the Platypus team noticed his fur was getting long.  So he went to a franchised hair salon.  He thought they would give him a haircut.  They really sat him in the barber’s chair for a twenty minute sales pitch for a bunch of products.  They pitched constantly, interrupted only by brief episodes of clicking scissors. “Platypuses may experience total fur loss unless they use our Franchise Shampoo, Franchise Conditioner, and Franchise Gel… available for purchase at the front counter.”

Our platypus paid for his trim but didn’t buy anything from the soap store masquerading as a cuttery.

“Transparency” is one of those corporate buzzwords in vogue. It’s supposed to be a quality of successful businesses, but most of the companies touting “transparency” demonstrate exactly the opposite in practice. There’s the “transparent” cell phone maker who would rather we not know about their exploited workers in another country.  There’s the “transparent” consumer electronics store that claims it sells cell phones, but makes its profit selling worthless extended warranties.

If people crave “transparency” they should go bare!  You can’t get more transparent than when you’re stripped of all clothing and all pretenses.  There are no padded Wonderbras and no flashy threads to convey status. Nothing but what God gave us all at birth, save for those with some silicone under their skin, perhaps.

The transparency goes beyond the obvious stripping away of our outer coverings, too.  It gets to what makes being naked fun. And that’s… well… getting to be naked in and of itself!  Take your clothes off in the privacy of your own home.  If it isn’t fun for you after giving bare a try for a while, just put your clothes back on.  No receipt required.

As far as the Bare Platypus goes, we really are all about getting you and your family to enjoy more naked in your day. That’s true even if you never leave home to enjoy your nakedness.  Our “hidden” agenda is simple. If you like naked, and your neighbor likes naked, maybe someday we can all hit the beaches and not have to wear uncomfortable fabrics to swim.

In future months we will be offering some eBooks for sale with some great ideas. But if you send us an email and tell us, “I wouldn’t buy an eBook, but my family and I are enjoying Bare Time more often after visiting your blog” we’ll be pleased with that. Really.

No. Really.