Nudists have been working to close the gender gap for a long time. We have no delusions that we will "fix" the issue here in a single post... or even a few posts. Nevertheless, we have a few ideas. We welcome any ideas that you have, too.
First, let's learn what we can from other cultures where the gender gap is already closer. What does France know about going topless that causes more of their ladies to be "dressed" like their male counterparts on the beach (i.e. with bottoms only)? Why is it that Scandinavians---men and women alike---seem comfortable? We think it has a lot to do with how the populace is raised. But studying other cultures is a good start.
Second, we think we must start depicting nudism in ways that women find less threatening. For those sites that use pictures, do not be afraid to show those with wrinkles, a few pounds to lose, or whatever else conveys that you do NOT need a perfect body to enjoy being naked. The Platypus response to this issue is to carry no photographs at all - only cartoon mascots. However, for those who subscribe to the "a picture's worth a thousand words" philosophy remember that's true. Please don't let the "thousand words" be "only those 18 - 25 of perfect weight and condition need apply" again and again for a hundred times.
Third, ... and this is to the gentlemen in nudism... let us be on our better behavior. Let us not do things that cause women to feel they have been approached for the wrong reasons (e.g. being "hit on"), or otherwise more vulnerable.
Fourth, consider for a moment, if only for a moment, that policies in clubs designed to ensure more gender balance are as much to make women feel more comfortable than to simply discriminate against men.
Fifth, let's ask ourselves if there their activities that women would enjoy doing? Let's offer more of those activities in clubs.
Sixth, recognize that nudist clubs and beaches are not the only forums where the gender gap can be addressed. If women could simply be made more self-assured about going nude in the privacy and security of their own homes that would make a significant impact. The Bare Platypus believes we can increase the number of practicing nudists, even if those nudists never get naked outside their own front door.
That's all for now, but we may have some other ideas soon.
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Bare Platypus now offers products with Platypus artwork at the Bare Platypus Souvenir Shop . You can get a tote bag or a coffee mug, a t-shirt, or all three! Plus there's more to come.
These designs are one-of-a-kinds that you won't find elsewhere. Tasteful enough that you can show or serve them to all guests, but unusual enough (and always bare) that they can help you get a conversation going.
You're invited to visit!
"policies in clubs designed to ensure more gender balance are as much to make women feel more comfortable than to simply discriminate against men". But this is still discrimination, and is likely illegal under state and/or federal laws. Just go back a few years and ponder when it was acceptable to say "policies in clubs designed to ensure racial harmony are as much to make whites feel more comfortable than to simply discriminate against blacks."
ReplyDeleteAlso, your comment "if women could simply be made more self-assured" applies to many men, too. Nudists of either gender are still very much in the smallest minority. Focusing too much on "gender equality" bypasses the real issue, which is making people of any gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or marital status more open to nude recreation.
@ Chet, I understand your frustration, but as a former caretaker at a nudist resort, I know exactly what the article is talking about. At the resort I worked at, married couples (or long term relationships) with kids were given membership priority with single men AND single women kept to 10% each. This was because the focus of the resort was to be family friendly. I scratched my head and asked: "If we are actively recruiting new members, then why not allow more singles in?"
DeleteIn short, the answer was because singles - especially those without kids - far too often skew the focus of the club from family friendly to dating or messing around. It was also brought up that if they allowed an endless amount of single men to join the resort and they crowded around the pool to tan, the female members would be uncomfortable.
This may sound sexist - and I agree that it is - but it is also true. As a woman, and a bigger one at that, I have a hard time walking down the street fully clothed! Just walking along minding my own business attracts male attention and they stare at me in a way that makes me highly uncomfortable. Guess what, I'm not a prude. I am comfortable being naked in front of others and am in an open relationship. If the men who stared at me simply said hi or somehow tried to be open and friendly - even if they were asking to get in my pants - I would be far more at ease and likely to chat.
Also take into account this, whenever I go to the YMCA, I have a choice between the women's locker room and the family locker room. In the women's locker room, I can get fully naked and walk around naked if I wanted to, but in the family room, I must keep the nudity inside a private changing room and shower with a suit on. I have begged them to change their policies to family friendly nudity, especially before the family room was built and other women kept harassing me for bringing my 6-7 year old little boy in the changing room with me. They didn't want ANY males to see them naked, not even young ones from nudist families who didn't even notice or care that they were naked.
I had to seriously think about why this is, and finally, I realized that it's because most women are raped at some point in their life. Sometimes it's in a violent way that gets reported and needs medical attention, but most often, it's not violent. It's simply that the man persuaded, shamed, or drugged the woman into compliance. After something like that, ALL men become the enemy, even those who aren't old enough for sex and those that are normally trusted such as husbands and brothers.
SO, in my opinion, the only way to overcome the discrimination and change the discomfort women feel if they happen to be the sole naked female amongst a sea of naked men is to teach men to never force a woman. Never try to pressure her or shame her into bed. And most of all, never stare at a woman like a creep.
Another way to combat the discrimination - in my opinion - would be to expand current resorts so that there is a separate area for single men (and/or women) to hang out. Yes, it's segregation much like back when the races were kept separate, but I think it would only be temporary. Once people can see by his behavior that a single man is a decent guy - like I fully believe most men are - then they will be accepted without question.
No it's not fair, but it's a step in the right direction, and in the mean time, raise the next generation to be more comfortable while naked in mixed company :-)
"If the men who stared at me simply said hi or somehow tried to be open and friendly - even if they were asking to get in my pants - I would be far more at ease and likely to chat."
DeleteReally? I feel awkward trying to meet new people at nudist venues, because I don't want to look like a creep, so it's nice to know that. I don't think I stare like a creep, but It's funny to think that I could be friendlier if I just tried to be more open.
The question I have about clubs that limit the number of men to make women comfortable is has it worked? Are those clubs growing? Are there more women participating? If it is do we still need to have this conversation?
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me that addressing the issue of body image as in the negative way society deals with bodies of different shapes and sizes and women bodies in particular. Also dealing head on with any inappropriate behavior men or anyone else at clubs.
Great article.
ReplyDeleteWhere is Part 2?