Our College Nudist Couple Revisited

LAST MONTH we reported on A College Student's First Nudist Experience  .  We explained in that post that one of the Bare Platypus “puggles” was raised a nudist since a baby, is now of college age, and invited the guy she’s dating for an evening trip to the local nudist club.  We finished by noting that the young man who had given nudism a try for the first time wanted to return.  We wrote that they were planning a trip back to the nudist club.  Yesterday was their day.


This time, no sooner had our young couple parked their car than our second-visit-guy was completely out of his clothes and wore no towel either.  He stayed completely naked during the entire visit.  This was a day trip so our couple could do more activities including holding a ping pong “tournament” that lasted the better part of an hour!  They swam, soaked in the hot tub, and had a picnic lunch on the lakefront beach suited to an undergraduate’s budget: peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  The weather stayed sunny so they worked on their all over tans.


The two most significant developments to report came when it was time to leave after a great day.  First, he told our platypus “You’ve CONVERTED me!”  Second?  Our convert wanted to ride home naked! They didn’t because of some additional errands to run. But we understand how our young convert felt. 

We really do.

Update: Our college students return to the nudist club yet again... this time for a picnic with Ms. Platypus's family... in Threepeat .

Insist on This If you Wish to Resist Clothes

TIME SHARE sales and pitchmen aren’t as big these days as they once were. In their heyday we knew of a nudist with a great way of dealing with these high pressure salespeople.  Whenever our acquaintance received a letter or postcard in the mail offering some prize just for touring the latest facility he would visit and display genuine interest.  He would even listen to the extended talk about the investment potential of the condo in question and listen to the financing options available.  He rarely interrupted salespeople going through their spiel. 

Only when asked, “What do you think?” did our fellow nudist deliver the kicker: “Your place looks great, but I didn’t see any facilities for nude swimming and sunbathing.  If you have them, I would love to see them.  If not, I’m afraid this won’t do.”  This man noted that he never received a “yes, we have that” response, though he did get a lot of bewildered looks as he collected his door prizes.  “Had they ever had something for a nudist, I probably would have bought,” he confided.

As nudists who want to see more accommodations for nudists, there are some things that we can do to put the issue out to travel providers.  It doesn’t have to cost any money to put a thought into their heads:

• When you stop at state welcome centers on interstate highways, ASK about the availability of nudist parks in the state you’re visiting.  Believe it or not, Bare Platypus team members have provided lists of nudist clubs to welcome center staff who have received inquiries in the past and want to be prepared.  Asking sends a message that nude tourism is important;

• When you stay in a hotel or motel adjacent to a town with a nudist club, let the front desk know that the availability of the nudist club brought you to the area during check out.  Doing this creates allies for the nudist club within the local Chamber of Commerce;

• Subscribe to some travel and tourism feeds on TWITTER.  At opportune times, answer questions such as “what would get you to plan travel here?” with a note about the importance of nude venues to you;

• When you visit a nudist beach or park, make a point of letting the gas station where you fill your tank, and the restaurant where you fill your plate, know what brought them your business. 

Just think.  The folks you speak with will not know your name or "out" you as a nudist for bringing these subjects up.  But it will make a difference. 

Nude Attitudes Reveal Raw Racism

WE HAVE neglected to write on this specific subject until now, but it is long overdue.  Stated plainly, a person’s attitudes towards nudity often reveal an underlying racism that ticks us off.  We’re not up to completing coherent paragraphs this Sunday afternoon, so we’ll give you a bulleted list that we hope expresses what we’re talking about:

• As kids we could all ogle the naked bodies of the natives in National Geographic magazine, but naturist magazines can’t be sold on the newsstand (unless they’re in the XXX adult section) because they have naked CAUCASIAN people.  Nudity is, apparently, only fitting for people of ethnicity whom we expect to be naked “savages.”
• Pictures of breast feeding infants are okay if the infants are “tribal” but Facebook bans North American moms from posting breast feeding photos?
• Kids raised in the Amazon jungle who romp and swim naked? A protected (expected) “culture.”  Kids raised in Arizona running around or swimming naked? “In deepest danger."
• Aborigines naked in the Australian Outback may be filmed, studied, interviewed.  They’re on “Walkabout.”  Nudists on a beach in Queensland, Australia may need to be locked up.  They’re “perverted.” 

• Take a picture of a naked child in the jungles of South America and you’re an anthropologist.  Take a picture of a naked child in North America and you’re a child pornographer.

• A Soviet dissident who has physically harmed no person and done nothing other than writing about the gulags gets sent to a gulag and we demand his freedom from the oppressive communist regime. A British Royal Marine retires from service and decides to walk rural roads of the UK naked (physically harming no person) and the UK locks him up for 4+ years going on indefinitely.  That’s not deemed oppressive or excessive by authorities.

• Men go hunting buck naked in the African bush and velds, throwing spears or shooting arrows at a bloody animal soon-to-be carcass. That’s filmed in vivid detail for the Learning channel.  The Learning channel visits a nudist park and everyone is carefully pixilated to avoid causing "offense" to the viewer.

In the opinion of the Bare Platypus, these examples demonstrate a kind of thinking that is more degrading than anything we can imagine.  It’s the thinking that says, “When the people of a given race stay in the category and clothes that are expected of them (savage red man or black woman versus enlightened civilized white family) then no harm, no foul.  But when people don’t stay “in their place” we’ll cry obscene!

Shouldn’t one person with no clothes and another person with no clothes be the ultimate example of equality?

 

05/08/12 Update: Bare Platypus is not the first to raise this issue.  Click HERE for an online discussion from 2005 with similar themes.

No Butts About It. We Like Them Bare!

BUMS, BOTTOMS, butts, buttocks, derrieres, culs, tushes, tails, and traseros.  However you say it, in any language, we like them.  And we like them bare when possible.

Lest you think there’s something illicit in all this, we’ll be straight about saying that we like naked heineys.  Including those of cute little babies crawling bare on the bearskin rugs… complete with all their dimples and creases.  We’ve also written before that we smiled every time we saw the original Coppertone advertisement with the little girl in pigtails blushing while a terrier’s tug on her bikini bottoms showed us her pale cheeks.

We’re an equal opportunity admirer. Male or female, younger or older, we don’t care: they look better bare!  What about those of us who “sag” or show cellulite?  We may not be in our prime, but do our nalgas look any better crammed into a lycra swimsuit or in pants hitched too high with whales printed on them?  Didn’t think so.

Some will dismiss this as mere fetish but they don’t understand.  Your Platypusses’ admiration comes from that place in the heart and mind that inspires awe when looking at a prairie sky, a Frank Lloyd Wright building, an Ansel Adams photograph of Yosemite, or a classic Duisenberg automobile.

One of our Bare Platypus staff has remarked that if he makes it to heaven, he’s going to be sure to compliment Almighty God on the form, functionality, and fittingness of the human posterior and he genuinely, sincerely, means that with no suggestion of sacrilege.

Regrettably, most of society’s customs mean that our bums are usually covered, not bare.  But many within the naturist community are of kindred mind with the Platypus.  We have seen your twitter icons, your avatars, and your profiles.

We know you understand.

Motoring Naked: Tales from the Road

SOMEHOW THIS week the Bare Platypus team started talking about driving naked on roadways.  We think the many Twitter tweets from fellow nudists and naturists on the subject may have triggered the discussion. In any event, the members of the team started sharing stories of whether, and when, they’ve tried it. 

We even talked to the lawyer on our team for some guidance.  Predictably, just like a lawyer he hedged a bit on his answers.  His first disclaimer: traveling interstates often means crossing different states and he’s not admitted to the bar in every one so his words shouldn’t be construed as “advice.” 

He also reminded us that we live in an age where everyone has a cell phone so if even one person sees you and is offended, they may report it to highway patrol. An anonymous call may not stand up in court for lack of a complaining witness on a disorderly conduct charge, but it will get you pulled over. You probably don’t want to explain being naked to the Georgia State patrolman. 

Finally, all things being equal, it’s probably better to be motoring starkers down the highway (especially, say, at night) than coasting by an elementary school.  It’s more difficult to establish you were trying to offend someone or get your jollies by exposing yourself.

Okay, there’s some light legal treatment of the subject.  But what about fun stories from people who admit to this guilty pleasure?  Everyone on the Platypus Team confessed to doing it at least once, usually to break up the boredom on long trips.  Here are a few highlights:

Platypus 1:  “We were traveling across the country and hit some long stretches of road in Texas where there is virtually nothing until you get to El Paso.  Everyone in the car shucked off their clothes and we drove for 100’s of miles rarely seeing anyone else.  When we came to more “civilization” we were happy to be in the land of good restaurants and gas stations again but getting dressed was a downer.”

Platypus 2:  “Our family drove a big Ford van for a while, which was great because it sat high enough on the road that only big trucks could’ve seen into it.  I often put half of a long towel on the driver’s seat and let the other half drape down.  When coming upon toll booths or passing a tall truck it was easy to pull the draped end over my lap to be discreet.”

Platypus 3:  “Usually my wife is a bit more cautious when it comes to baring all on the highway, but one day the weather was so perfect that we rolled down the windows, opened the sun roof, and actually kept the speedometer at 55 mph.  The call of sun and sky must have been too strong because she adjusted the seat to lay nearly flat and let the sunbeams fall on her naked chest and torso.  Truthfully it was kinda difficult to focus all my attention on the road!”

Platypus 4:  “Our then three-year old son had been riding with us on an extended trip.  For the better part of a day he was good but, understandably, got cranky as the hours and miles wore on.  We stopped at a rest area to get a drink and stretch our legs, but when it came time to get back in the car, the kid adamantly refused.  He was doing that “keep his legs straight thing” that makes it impossible to get a three-year old into a car seat.  Finally my husband lighted on an idea and offered to take all the boy’s clothes off and let him ride naked if he would cooperate.  We went through another two states with no trouble and he fell asleep before we reached our destination!”

We have one more entry, not from the Platypus Team, but from a mom with an autistic son who hates wearing clothes.  It has led to some humorous episodes in the family car that we’ll let you read for yourself at: Considering Move to a Nudist Colony .

How about it readers?  Got a naked motoring experience you’d like to share?

Google Drive and Nudists: Our Heads in the Cloud?

THESE DAYS it seems that whenever the Bare Platypus team wonders what the topic of the day should be, some news story from the online community hits and… Voila’! 

Today is no exception, as we learned that Google is launching Google Drive , an all new cloud app that lets users store 1 terabyte or more of documents, photos, music, etc. up on Google’s “cloud servers,” then pull it down and use it at virtually any time, anywhere there’s internet access. 

An extremely useful aspect of this cloud computing is the ability to send a link to someone on your work team who can click it and download an item without worrying about sending large files as attachments to emails, etc.

As with every great piece of technology being launched and offered free or cheap these days, nudists would do well to consider the drawbacks of putting too much of their lives “in the clouds.”  Yesterday we received a stark reminder when Facebook froze the account of AllNudist with no warning.  The reason? Someone or something flagged a post as obscene.

Admittedly, the Bare Platypus relies on the neat freebies that Google offers to deliver content to our blog followers.  We get free hosting space for text and illustrations that appear here, free html editing tools (remember the old days when everything had to be hand coded with <TAGS>?), and even free statistics on web traffic and sources. 

No nudist should ever forget that it could all change with a corporate policy decision that wipes out years of relationship-building, content development, and a subscriber base. That’s because nudists have always been in danger of offending government and corporate sensibilities. 

How?

• The essence of nudism is—or should be—that you don’t have to buy anything to enjoy it.  That doesn’t sit well with the people who want to sell you swimwear and other products; 

• Nudists like to publish and peruse materials that depict the human body in its natural state.  That offends prudes on one end of the spectrum.  But pornographers on the other end don’t want people to have a natural view of the body either. People who do are less likely to whip out their credit card and pay to see silicone-enhanced models contorting in unnatural ways;

• Nudists like the Bare Platypus believe that nudism is suitable and beneficial for people of ALL ages.  That really hits a hot button with a public and government ready to inflict draconian measures on anyone who would suggest that tykes be allowed to enjoy their birthday suits.

By all means, embrace technology our fellow nudists. Just never forget that what is in the cloud can be easily scanned and purged when it’s no longer considered politically correct.

Corporate Nudity Bans More Harmful Than Laws?

MORE THAN fifty years ago, nudist leaders had to take US Postal authorities all the way to the Supreme Court to establish the right to send nudist magazines through the mail.  Sunshine Press v. Summerfield was a landmark ruling that photographs of nude humans in things like picnics and volleyball games were not obscene.

In 2012 nudists still tackle the problem of bans against their material, but they are much more likely to come from the private sector.  Today, for example, we learned that ALL NUDIST had their account suspended by Facebook over a posting that the site’s “autobots” deemed offensive.  As AllNudist laments, there is no way to reach a live person to resolve the problem.  All that can be done is to wait out the suspension and wonder what does and doesn’t cross Facebook’s ever moving line of propriety.

Facebook recently bought Instagram, and it already seems that company has Stepped Up Enforcement of no-nudity policies. These may have been included in Terms of Service for some time, but have been taken to a new level. Photographers and artists have decried these moves, while the company claims they are necessary to comply with yet another company’s nudity policies: The iPhone app rules from Apple.

Bare Platypus also read this week that PayPal sent an EDICT out to eBook publishing companies warning that it would terminate credit-card processing privileges for any company carrying objectionable material.  One clever poster on a message board noted that if every offensive topic on the PayPal list got a book banned, then our Holy Bible would be first to go. 

Bare Platypus team members once approached some of the highest level employees of Pay Pal (e.g. the General Counsel and  the Director of Government Affairs) after meeting them at a legislative conference.  Despite laying out a case that had those individuals nodding their heads and following up with us in emails, there was nothing we could do to get policies--- like Pay Pal’s refusal to process funds for the Federation of Canadian Naturists’ subscriptions to Going Natural---reversed.

We agree with those who state that corporate policies are not, in the classic sense of the term, “censorship.”  They do not involve government action and violators of corporate policies do not face prison sentences.   However, the impact of “no nudity” and strict topic restrictions is no less pronounced when it comes to advancing the message of nudism.